which remake was it again?

Here it is folks! These are the first production photos of Miami Vice: The Movie... or was it Mission Impossible 3... shit... I forget. We're taking the Francis Ford Coppola approach to film making with this one--which means four years worth of production, making sure that everyone on the cast and crew is doing Acid non-stop (mostly using Dr. Farvo's Electric Acid Smuggling Cod-piece), and hunting tigers in the bay area wilderness. Now, I know that the critics will slam us for making another remake for the summer's shining blockbuster moments... but we couldn't get suit approval away from Sir Andrew of Shepherd. Originally we had something around the general feel of Elton John jumpsuits. Instead he opted for the Members Only windbreaker and a Simpson's T-shirt. What you can't tell from this picture is that he has taken the role to heart and gotten a Brazilian wax. That's right, a Members Only jacket and speedos. Now, Andy is under the impression that we're re-making Baywatch Nights, so he's all about personifying David Hasselhoff. As the Director, I keep telling him to stop waxing his chest because he thinks that the Castro audience will go for his sexy man-stride while the bay breeze blows open his shirt. He insists on being smooth and hairless for the role. Actors... you can't rape them... so you might as well fill their head with LSD and The Blue Oyster Cult.

--Alan Smithee